COVID19

The COVID log

log in the eye.JPG

This is about all of us. And love.

I got COVID.

Fully Vaccinated.

Since my vaccine, and the lifting of mask restrictions I’ve been going out unmasked.

Breakthrough cases have been on the rise. I know this. And still, I was going out unmasked.

I have no romantic delusions about the vaccine.

I have been in pharmaceutical research for twenty years, and I realize that no drug, no vaccine, no treatment is completely safe or completely effective but rather every aspect of modern medicine is based on a risk/benefit ratio. I opted to take the vaccine. I have had no adverse effects from it thus far. But make no mistake, it is still experimental and I know this. I am fully aware I’m a volunteer for this experiment and I took it on with eyes wide open. I am a scientist and I believe in experiments. None of the advances we have in medicine would have occurred without them. Lives are saved, suffering is alleviated thanks to experiments. And also, experiments fail and people have bad experiences. That’s how it works.

Last month I traveled to my daughter's wedding unmasked. No problem. Successful experiment.

Last week I got out in public on a girl's trip. Unmasked. All friends fully vaccinated. All dining was socially distanced and/or outdoors. We floated the river - not crowded.

We stopped at Buccees on the way home (if you’ve never heard it - google it - it’s an obscene Texas phenomenon) . It was packed. I was unmasked.

That day, I traveled to Vegas to visit my mom and attend a work conference. I was fully masked while traveling. Stayed at my brother's home for three days.

Two days after arriving, I had a scratchy throat.

Next day, congestion. Then some achiness. No breathing problems, no loss of taste or smell, no fever.

The day I checked into the conference I got a COVID test so that I could reassure my coworkers that my congestion was not COVID.

It was. Experiment failed.

So, I've exposed my brother and his husband (thankfully both vaccinated). Thank god I could only do a window visit with my mom, so I haven't exposed her.

I'm quarantining in a hotel in Vegas for the next ten days and am happy to do so to avoid exposing anyone else.

My symptoms are mild and already abating after 72 hours. Successful experiment?

My belief? My mild symptoms and quick recovery were thanks to the vaccine.

But, if I were still wearing a mask in public settings, I might not have gotten it and might have avoided the possibility of exposure of my loved ones.

Not for sure. Not a guarantee. There are no guarantees in life. No control. Just guesses. Life is just a lot of calculated risks and guesses. Like experiments.

The thing is - I CHOSE not to wear a mask. Because I (emphasis on the I) am vaccinated. It was those OTHER unvaccinated guys that should still wear them. Log in my eye.

The other thing is, I don't mind wearing a mask. It's an easy thing to do -- low-to-no risk and high chance of benefit. And it could possibly save someone's life. I know this and I still chose not to wear one. Log in my eye.

In this whole log/speck world of vaccines and mask wearing, this isn't about me. This isn't about "thank god I am vaccinated and don’t have to wear a mask anymore” or “thank god I’m vaccinated and if I get it I probably won’t end up hospitalized”

And this isn’t about them, “those guys should do the right thing and get vaccinated or at least wear masks”

This is about all of us. And love.

And an important component of enacting love is to keep the focus on the log in your own eye.

I know it says, “then you will be able to see clearly to take the speck from your brothers eye,” but I wonder if, when we take the log out we will see that the other guy isn’t an asshole, but maybe is just scared. Maybe we would see our judgement and hypocrisy clearly and no longer feel compelled to address all those specks. Imagine a world where everyone lived this way.

And for me, I know that no harm can come from a mask. So, rather than walking around with a log, I think I’ll walk around with a mask instead.

Love one another.