the longer you pray, the more god will bless you
“And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words.” You won’t be heard for babbling like a pagan, but do remember that the longer you pray, the more god will bless you. Spend time! God doesn’t appreciate brevity. Even though he knows what you need before you ask him, he appreciates the hard work that goes into long prayer sessions.
This, then, is how you should pray:
Oh Father (who we know is a man and could not possible be our mother) of the chosen, special people in my group,
hallowed be your name,
your kingdom as we have defined it come,
your will as we have defined it be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread and prosper us with all the luxuries we desire.
And forgive us our debts, even though we understand that debt is fine and we know you don’t mind that we have a lot of them; as we also have forgiven our debtors. Not literally though because it would be bad business to actually forgive debt. Our great nation’s economy is built on debt and we know that you want America to prosper.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one as we have defined him to be.’
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