"Why don't girls just ask for help?"
I was speaking to Will. Will is a 23 year old college student. He's a nice looking kid, sensitive, intelligent, well spoken and artistic. Will said, "I don’t understand why girls don’t just ask me for help if they feel afraid. Like if they are afraid to walk to their car at night when leaving a bar, why don’t those women just ask a guy to escort them? I would be more than happy to make sure a girl gets to her car safely. It makes me sad for them that they are afraid of all men. I mean, most guys are good guys and, like me they would be happy to help out. It upsets me to be lumped in with the creeps."
I agreed with Will; most guys are good guys and they would be happy to help. But I explained to Will that there’s just no way a woman can ever know who is the good guy and who is the bad guy. I was married to a guy for almost eighteen years who I thought was one kind of guy and it turned out he was another. Statistically, women are more likely to be assaulted by someone they know than by a stranger. Dads assault their daughters, uncles assault their nieces, boyfriends rape their girlfriends, neighbors rape their neighbors. I asked Will how a woman is supposed to assess which guy to ask for help? If she can’t even trust her father, or her husband to keep her safe – then who?
Statistically, one in five women has been the victim of attempted or completed rape in their lifetime, and nearly 1 in 2 have experienced sexual violence other than rape in their lifetime (rrsonline.org)
Will, imagine you were up against those statistics. Imagine you were in a bar full of men and you knew your odds were 1 in 2 for being attacked. You know that in that bar, almost all the guys are good guys. How do you spin those odds? Who do you trust in that bar? How do you choose?
(To comment, click on header)