The COVID log

This is about all of us. And love.

I got COVID.

Fully Vaccinated.

Since my vaccine, and the lifting of mask restrictions I’ve been going out unmasked.

Breakthrough cases have been on the rise. I know this. And still, I was going out unmasked.

I have no romantic delusions about the vaccine.

I have been in pharmaceutical research for twenty years, and I realize that no drug, no vaccine, no treatment is completely safe or completely effective but rather every aspect of modern medicine is based on a risk/benefit ratio. I opted to take the vaccine. I have had no adverse effects from it thus far. But make no mistake, it is still experimental and I know this. I am fully aware I’m a volunteer for this experiment and I took it on with eyes wide open. I am a scientist and I believe in experiments. None of the advances we have in medicine would have occurred without them. Lives are saved, suffering is alleviated thanks to experiments. And also, experiments fail and people have bad experiences. That’s how it works.

Last month I traveled to my daughter's wedding unmasked. No problem. Successful experiment.

Last week I got out in public on a girl's trip. Unmasked. All friends fully vaccinated. All dining was socially distanced and/or outdoors. We floated the river - not crowded.

We stopped at Buccees on the way home (if you’ve never heard it - google it - it’s an obscene Texas phenomenon) . It was packed. I was unmasked.

That day, I traveled to Vegas to visit my mom and attend a work conference. I was fully masked while traveling. Stayed at my brother's home for three days.

Two days after arriving, I had a scratchy throat.

Next day, congestion. Then some achiness. No breathing problems, no loss of taste or smell, no fever.

The day I checked into the conference I got a COVID test so that I could reassure my coworkers that my congestion was not COVID.

It was. Experiment failed.

So, I've exposed my brother and his husband (thankfully both vaccinated). Thank god I could only do a window visit with my mom, so I haven't exposed her.

I'm quarantining in a hotel in Vegas for the next ten days and am happy to do so to avoid exposing anyone else.

My symptoms are mild and already abating after 72 hours. Successful experiment?

My belief? My mild symptoms and quick recovery were thanks to the vaccine.

But, if I were still wearing a mask in public settings, I might not have gotten it and might have avoided the possibility of exposure of my loved ones.

Not for sure. Not a guarantee. There are no guarantees in life. No control. Just guesses. Life is just a lot of calculated risks and guesses. Like experiments.

The thing is - I CHOSE not to wear a mask. Because I (emphasis on the I) am vaccinated. It was those OTHER unvaccinated guys that should still wear them. Log in my eye.

The other thing is, I don't mind wearing a mask. It's an easy thing to do -- low-to-no risk and high chance of benefit. And it could possibly save someone's life. I know this and I still chose not to wear one. Log in my eye.

In this whole log/speck world of vaccines and mask wearing, this isn't about me. This isn't about "thank god I am vaccinated and don’t have to wear a mask anymore” or “thank god I’m vaccinated and if I get it I probably won’t end up hospitalized”

And this isn’t about them, “those guys should do the right thing and get vaccinated or at least wear masks”

This is about all of us. And love.

And an important component of enacting love is to keep the focus on the log in your own eye.

I know it says, “then you will be able to see clearly to take the speck from your brothers eye,” but I wonder if, when we take the log out we will see that the other guy isn’t an asshole, but maybe is just scared. Maybe we would see our judgement and hypocrisy clearly and no longer feel compelled to address all those specks. Imagine a world where everyone lived this way.

And for me, I know that no harm can come from a mask. So, rather than walking around with a log, I think I’ll walk around with a mask instead.

Love one another.

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Parables for a Pandemic - The Babies

I was terrified and you gave me peace of mind

There was a family with two twin babies.  These babies had been born prematurely and were in fragile health.

While these babies were small and fragile, a pandemic broke out.  If the babies were to contract the disease it was likely they would not survive.  The mother could not continue to work because the babies’ daycare closed down due to the pandemic.   The father was a clerk at a pharmacy and picked up extra shifts at his job to try to make ends meet. 

At the father’s job, the employer did not require the store staff, nor the customers to wear masks.  Every day people who were well and people who were sick came into the pharmacy.  Some with masks and some without. 

The father wore a mask and a face shield each day, but lived in fear of bringing the disease home to his babies.  He washed his hands diligently throughout the day and took off his clothes and his mask each day when he came home before he touched his wife or his babies. 

The County Judge issued a law requiring businesses to post signs requiring customers to wear masks.  Fines were issued for businesses that did not comply and for citizens that did not comply.

The judge caught the disease and died. 

In heaven, Jesus said to him, “Well done good and faithful servant, for I was terrified of bringing that disease home to my two vulnerable infants, and you tried to protect me and gave me peace of mind”

The judge asked, “Lord, how could you have been terrified of the disease, and how could you have two vulnerable infant children?   I don’t know what you’re talking about!” 

 “He replied, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these, you did for me.’

Parables for a Pandemic - Two Miles

Go two

His followers came to Jesus and complained, “Lord, the corrupt government has hatched an evil conspiracy plot that will impoverish us all and take away our freedoms.  They have commanded us to close our businesses and wear masks in public places.“

Jesus replied, “If they force you to wear a mask in public places, go not only that “one mile” that they ask, but go over and above what they ask and “go two”.   Give to those who ask, and do not resist an evil person.”

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Parables for a Pandemic - the Neighbor

What do you think? Which one of these three was a neighbor to the man?

“Teacher, what must I do to gain eternal life?”

Jesus replied, “What is written in the Bible? How do you interpret it?”

 “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your being, with all your strength, and with all your mind, and love your neighbor as yourself.”[a]

Jesus said to him, “You have answered correctly. Do this and you will live.”

 “And who is my neighbor?”

Jesus replied, “There was a pandemic in a faraway land. A poor man with a lung condition did not have the privilege of working from home.  He worked at WalMart and had to continue to do so to feed his family.      It just so happened that a Christian came to the store without a mask on, and approached the man to ask where in the store to find the dog toys and treats.  The poor employee directed the man to the place. 

Next a priest came to the store without a mask. He approached the man to ask where the office supplies could be found.  The poor employee directed the man to the place and the priest coughed a little and went on his way.

Finally, an atheist came to the store wearing a mask.   He asked the poor employee where to find drill bits.  The poor employee directed the man to the place and the atheist went on his way.

What do you think? Which one of these three was a neighbor to the man with the lung condition?”

 “Go and do likewise.”

To comment, click on the header “Parables for a Pandemic - The Neighbor”

I can't breathe

“..the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until the present time.”

When a thing is born, breathing is essential.

In the birth of a child, the midwife instructs the laboring woman when to breathe, how to breathe, pant, don’t forget to breathe

Immediately after the birth of a child, we hold our breath, waiting for that first breath, that first cry

In meditation, often, the focus is on the breath to learn presence and birth consciousness

Something is being birthed in the world right now and the whole world seems to be crying out. From George Floyd, to COVID-19 victims, to mask wearers, to the very creation itself as climate change destroys the environment, the cry is, “I can’t breathe!”

I can’t breathe

I can’t breathe

I can’t breathe

I can’t breathe

I can’t breathe

I can’t breathe

To comment, click on the header “I can’t breathe”

Separation

separation is not a thing to be avoided and gotten rid of, it is strangely to be embraced as the thing that draws us together.

In this time of social distancing due to COVID19, it occurs to me that the Bible narrative has an awful lot of content about separation and distancing. 

In the Genesis myth – there was this lie about separation.   Adam and Eve somehow felt separated from god and felt they needed to take action to close the gap.  To “become more like god” through knowledge.  So, they did what they thought was needed to end separation which actually led them both to a more profound separation as they hid and as they covered up their vulnerability and nakedness, and as they were expelled from Eden. 

Cain was distanced from his family after he killed his brother

Noah was quarantined with his family during the flood

Abram left his country and went to a distant land.

The Israelite nation are commanded to distance themselves from other nations.  To stay separate.  They have laws and more laws about what not to touch and what to distance themselves from in order to “stay clean" (and likely in those times, before refrigeration and germ theory – alive)

Mystics and prophets distanced themselves in the desert.  

Even the crucifixion story is about distancing, “My god, my god, why have you forsaken me? “

If you are familiar with your bible stories, many more will spring to mind.

What is it about separation and distance?

My religious upbringing spun all this separation in the biblical mythology as a warning about sin and purity.  Sin will separate us from god and from each other.   Purity will keep us from separation.   The goal is to get rid of sin and thus get rid of separation. 

This interpretation is very much like the ancient Jewish notion of purity.  It is about uncleanness, contamination and contagion.   In modern times, we haven’t dealt too much with issues of global, uncontrollable contagion, until the recent COVID-19 pandemic.  Suddenly, we find ourselves thrust into a world of “Don’t touch or you’ll be infected.  Wash your hands, wear a mask.   Unclean! Unclean!”

But underneath the story that is told out of paranoia of becoming unclean, another story is being told.   A story about oneness, longing and desire. 

Separation will keep you safe from contamination, but it will also make you aware that you are not separate at all.  You are a part of a global body.  A body you need to touch, feel and interact with.  A body that, no matter how its members separate from one another, continues to infect one another; not just with COVID-19, but emotionally as well. The more we are separated from others, the more we realize our need for them and our longing to be with them.  The more we try to not be affected by it all (whether physically or emotionally), the more we are aware that we are affected.

By it all.

And in contrast, when we are in too close a proximity, we have no opportunity for desire.  When you get rid of separation, what you start longing for is separation.  During this quarantine parents and kids have just had it with the togetherness, husbands and wives are on each other’s last nerve, even cat memes have become about how they can’t wait for their owners to get out of the house. 

So, separation is not a thing to be avoided and gotten rid of, it is strangely to be embraced as the thing that draws us together.  

 It’s a push-pull.  I want you close, but not TOO close.  Like a fire that needs breathing room to roar and when smothered snuffs out.  

So, maybe rather than all the separation stories in the Bible being about impurity and punishment, maybe these stories are better read like a book about the push and pull of desire. On the one hand, it reads like a romance novel about mankind’s longing to be united with the divine, and on the other hand it is a story about how their attempt to get rid of separation resulted in even more.     

And maybe the COVID-19 story is like that too.  It is a story that is being written in history about how in our separated, xenophobic, polarized world, try as we might to get rid of this separation through political means, along came quarantine to separate us and to remind us just how much we are all one global organism that cannot be separated from itself. Along came COVID-19 to teach us that we love one another and need one another and long for connection with one another. 

Like many good love stories.