relationship

noun  re·la·tion·ship  \ ri-ˈlā-shən-ˌship \

1: the state of being related or interrelated

2: the relation connecting or binding participants in a relationship: such as     a : kinship        b : a specific instance or type of kinship

3a : a state of affairs existing between those having relations or dealings         b : a romantic or passionate attachment

Do you think maybe the term "relationship with God" is problematic? As time goes on, I find it feels weird to say it. There are all kinds of relationships and the word “relationship” can be used in many different ways, but usually when we talk about relationship with God, we are talking about the type of relationship that is an interaction between two separate entities.  We are taught that we need to work on this relationship and seek out this relationship.

And yet perhaps God is not something “out there” that we have to search for, and strive after and work to have a relationship with.  Perhaps he is within us and a part of us and all we have to do is recognize that.  The Bible is full of imagery of God as the ground of our being rather than a distant being “out there” :

“God is through all and in all” Ephesians 4:6

“For in him we live, move and have our being.”  Acts 17:28

 “in him all things hold together” Colossians 1:17

“Do you not know that you are a temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?” I Cor 3

In order to think about God as something or someone with whom we have a relationship of exchange or a relationship that requires tremendous effort on our part, God has to be “other”.  We have to be separate in order for the idea of that kind of relationship to work. It seems to me that sacred scripture talks much more about God being “in and through” than being separate and apart. If God dwells in us and we are the temple of God’s spirit then it’s interesting that we still think of God as something “out there” and separate from us.   

The problem could be in the name.  We've named God and by giving "God" a name, he has become an entity separate from ourselves.  When Moses asked God for a name, he was given none but was told that he was to call God "I am that I am".  Names and labels can create separation and misconceptions.  

I think we’ve not realized just how intimate this thing with God is supposed to be.  If God is in me, a part of me, if God is the very thing that holds me together and the force in which I “live, move and have my being” then it is safe to say that God is not something separate and apart from me.   God is integral to myself and in the very fiber of my being. What could be more intimate than that?  How can I be separated from the very thing that holds me together?  I cannot.  We are one. 

So, how do I go about “having a relationship” with something that is part of my very being?  

When it comes to ourselves, we don't say we have a relationship with those aspects that are integral to us.  We don’t usually talk about having a relationship with our bodies, or our minds, or our cells, or our spirits. We just ARE with ourselves. Our bones and muscles hold us together, our blood could be said to be the thing that allows us to live, move and have our being and yet we don’t talk about having relationships with these things.  They are a part of us.  Sure, we “relate” to our bodies; we eat, we exercise, we bathe and take care of our bodies, but this is not the type of relationship that is some kind of back and forth or exchange between two separate entities. 

If I think of my body as something disconnected and separate from me, it’s problematic.  I won’t be able to hear what it is telling me in the tension of my shoulders or the tightness in my chest. I might eat or drink too much, no matter how awful it makes my body feel.  I might not eat anything at all.  Disconnection from our bodies can lead to increased anxiety, depression, body dysmorphia, eating disorders, cutting, addictions, sexual acting out, and psychosomatic illnesses. 

If we have become disconnected from our body, we don't have to work to build any type of relationship, the relationship is already there - built in.  We just have to learn to re-connect ourselves and get back in tune and in touch.  Maybe it’s the same when we think we are separate and disconnected from God.  Rather than working to build a relationship,  we just have to figure out how to re-connect ourselves to our source and to see and hear what is already there.     

“We are not just made by God, we are made of God.”  Julian of Norwich

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