Well, you must have known if I asked a bunch of women about toxic advice they’ve been given, that the subject of submission would come up sooner or later. I got so many responses about submission, that I can’t even begin to list them all but here are a few:   

·        A Godly woman is submissive

·        Men are the provider, pursuer, and protector

·        The wife is the “helper” or “helpmeet”  to her husband

·        The man is supposed to be the “spiritual leader” of his wife

·        Be careful about intimidating men, make sure to make yourself smaller so you don't scare them away!

 ·        A woman should never ask a man on a date, because she would be seen as too forward, desperate, or intimidating.

 I’ve waited to write about the “s” word, because it’s hard to know what to say.  It’s always been interesting to me (and tragic) that religion has taken the verses on submission and weaponized them against women. 

The Bible has much to say about an attitude of submission, and the smallest amount of it is directed at women.  Some examples: 

• Do not resist an evildoer. But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also; and if anyone wants to sue you and take your coat, give your cloak as well

• Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times

• A dispute also arose among them as to which of them was considered to be greatest. 25 Jesus said to them, “The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them; and those who exercise authority over them call themselves Benefactors. 26 But you are not to be like that. Instead, the greatest among you should be like the youngest, and the one who rules like the one who serves.

• Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all.

•  Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children,  and live in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God

Obviously, verses in the Bible about submission of women to their husbands were written in the context of a time in history and a society in which women did not have equality.  Sure they say that the husband is the head of the wife.  This was the way things were back then.  It was a time and a society in which women had no rights, people owned slaves, customs were different.   It’s fascinating (and not in a good way) that we are able to adjust our understanding and are able to see pretty clearly that verses about slavery, or other customs like eating meat sacrificed to idols, or covering the head during worship, do not translate literally for modern times, but the same kind of common sense is not applied to verses that describe women’s societal roles. 

Even so, if you read the verses in full, it is clear that the picture that is being painted promotes an attitude of mutual submission and respect to one another.  In addition to telling women to be submissive they say:

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

and

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 

Certainly a revolutionary idea for its time!  Not only does the writer ask women to be submissive, but he asks for the man to give himself up for her as Christ did for people and to submit mutually.   Surely this idea for its time promoted women and offered them a degree of status and equality that their society did not.   The verse was meant to move women ahead.

It is tragic that 2000 years later, Christianity – the very movement that set them light years ahead in the area of equality – that is now setting them light years back. 

You know what the “s” word for that is?  Shame. 

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