This was originally posted on December 30, 2017, but I was monkeying with my blog format, and lost it.  Here is the repost.

Today is my oldest daughter’s 31st birthday. 

I don’t have a lot of wisdom or insight with regard to parenting.  The only thing I know is that no matter how many books you read, no matter how many classes you attend, no matter how much you think you know or how much you think you don’t know what to do as a parent – you just don’t know. 

That’s because you’re trying to love, protect, teach, and shape a living human being.  A beautiful being who is infinite, unknowable, and ever changing.  You can’t hold them in your hands, you can’t control them or even predict them.  All you can do is lovingly stand there and watch them unfold.  You are awestruck, terrified, amazed, entertained ….. did I say terrified?  You are terrified because you know that you are unequal and inadequate to the task.  You are terrified because you love this person more than life itself and you know that each breath they take, each choice they make, each choice you make that will affect them is tied to your very soul.  If they break, you break.  If they soar, you soar. 

All parents want a do-over.  A million do-overs so that we can get it just right for this amazing creature that we brought into this difficult world. 

But what I would never change – is being a parent.  It is the most miraculous, life changing, excruciatingly beautiful thing I’ve ever been a part of. 

Happy Birthday to my girl.